Gay Travel: Should Gay Couples Ask for Twin Beds When Traveling?
If you’re a gay couple planning a trip and you’ve ever paused before selecting “1 King Bed” on a hotel booking site, you’re not overthinking it. You’re navigating something most straight couples rarely have to consider. Below, we’re sharing how we approach this decision so we can travel the world safely and still be ourselves.
Why This Question Exists in the First Place
Only a few months into dating, one of the first countries Davey and I (Omie) visited together was Morocco, where homosexuality is illegal. We shared that experience in this article. We had just come from Spain and were heading to Marrakech when, a few days before landing, one of us asked casually, “Wait… are we booking one bed or two?” Up until that moment, it hadn’t even crossed my mind.
I had never really traveled with a partner before. Most of my trips had been with girlfriends, and tbh I had spent much of my adult life single lol. Growing up in the U.S., you don’t always realize how many small calculations come with traveling as a gay couple until you’re suddenly faced with one. Thankfully, we had an incredible trip. We even stayed in a traditional riad owned by a gay couple! But that first hesitation stuck with us.
Now, after traveling to more than 35 countries together, this is one of the first questions we ask before confirming any reservation: Would we feel safer asking for twin beds? If you’ve traveled enough as a queer couple, you’ve probably asked yourself the same thing.
The Emotional Side No One Talks About
Something people rarely talk about, if at all, is the emotional weight that some of these decisions carry. Sleeping in separate beds for a few nights isn’t a big deal. But when you’re traveling for weeks at a time, it can start to feel different. It’s not about the physical space. It’s about what the decision represents.
We sometimes use the phrase “de-gaying” ourselves when we travel to certain places. Not because we’re denying who we are, but because we’re reading the room. Less instinctive hand-holding. Fewer casual gestures. More awareness of who’s watching. And requesting twin beds can become part of that adjustment. Sadly, this comes with the territory of being a gay traveler in today’s world. If you want to see the world, beyond where you’re told you can go, you’re going to have to make these decisions.
And it’s never about shame. It’s simply strategic. But even strategic decisions sting because when you make that calculation, it reminds you that your relationship is still ‘political’ in parts of the world. And that can be exhausting.
What We’ve Experienced on the Ground
It’s so funny (in a not funny way) that whenever we bring this up to straight friends, they usually look puzzled. And we get it. They’ve never had to think about it. For many straight couples, booking a hotel room is simple. They choose a bed size based on comfort. For LGBTQ+ couples, especially when traveling internationally, that choice can carry more weight.
As of 2026, same-sex relationships are still criminalized in over 60 countries. In others, they’re legal but socially stigmatized. Even in destinations marketed as “gay friendly,” acceptance can vary outside major cities. We’ve experienced this firsthand.
In Montenegro, we were asked at check-in if we were sure we wanted one bed. Like yes, sir, we’re pretty sure we are sure lol. Another time while in Bulgaria, the man at the front desk visibly recoiled after confirming our one bed/one room. We posted about it on our Instagram. It caught us off guard because homosexuality has been legal in both countries for years, but as we say often, laws don’t always reflect attitudes.
People online were quick to say, “What did you expect from a former Soviet country!!!” Which is exactly our point: If you base your expectations on laws alone, you won’t always get it right. You only really understand a place once you’re on the ground.
To end, we have personally never been in danger, but we’ve definitely had our fair share of awkward moments lol.
Is It Actually Safer to Ask for Twin Beds?
Here’s the practical answer: In most countries where being gay is legal and socially accepted, booking one bed is not a risk. Hotel staff are trained professionals and international brands tend to operate under clear non-discrimination policies, so check-ins tend to be uneventful (for lack of a better word lol).
What Davey and I like to do, even if we’re in a ‘gay-friendly’ city, we assess how we feel when we’re checking in. We’ve never had a bad experience, but we have had friends check into a hotel outside of a major city and have the front desk staff make them feel uneasy. The way we see it is that if we’re sleeping in that hotel and we don’t feel comfortable, we’re either not checking in at all or we’re asking for two beds just to be sure.
Now, in destinations where LGBTQ+ rights are nonexistent or it’s illegal to be gay there, we are almost always asking for two beds. Rarely do we ask for one bed as we don’t ever want to draw unnecessary attention to ourselves. With that said though, we have had hotel staff upgrade us to a one bed without so much as a second look. It happened to us the second time we visited Morocco, one time in the Maldives, as well as in Sri Lanka. And it’s always a pleasant surprise, which we appreciate as gay travelers.
Lastly, a rule that we have is that if we’re staying in a reputable hotel that is known internationally and operates under Western hospitality, then we tend to reserve one bed. It’s never been a problem for us.
How Do We Decide Now
After years of traveling together as a gay couple, we’ve developed a simple internal process:
We research beyond legality. A country can have protective laws, but still carry conservative social attitudes. We look at recent news, firsthand LGBTQ+ experiences, and general cultural sentiment.
We choose accommodations carefully. International hotel chains often provide an added layer of predictability. Sometimes we like to move away from big hotels, however, as we like supporting locals businesses. In that case, we choose boutique hotels in safe, progressive neighborhoods rather than remote guesthouses in unknown areas. If the latter is the only choice, then we research, research, research to find anything - both good and bad - that might make our decision easier.
Lastly, and most importantly, we check in with each other. If one of us feels uneasy, we talk about it. If I want a small hotel but Davey feels safer in a well-known hotel, then we choose the latter because peace of mind is always most important. We have realized that: If you don’t like, or feel at ease, where you’re staying, then say bye to R&R because you both won’t be getting it.
So, Should Gay Couples Ask for Twin Beds When Traveling?
As you see, there isn’t a universal rule. But if you’re traveling somewhere that feels affirming and safe, book that king bed! You deserve that ease. However, if you’re visiting a destination where LGBTQ+ rights or social attitudes are unclear, discuss it openly with your partner. Research what you can and choose what gives you the most peace!
Now, if you feel genuinely unsafe, then reconsider the trip entirely. No trip is worth your safety. Travel is meant to be fun and shouldn’t be filled with anxiety. Trust, I’ve been there before.
Our Final Thoughts
The fact that this question still exists says something larger about the world we move through. We hope that one day this feels outdated, that booking a hotel room anywhere in the world carries the same simplicity for every couple. But until then, we’ll keep sharing the honest parts of what it’s like to travel as a gay couple. Not to discourage you, but to prepare you.
Have you ever debated the bed situation before a trip? Have you ever requested twin beds for peace of mind, or refused to compromise on one bed no matter what? We’d genuinely love to hear your experience. Leave a comment below or send us a message!
We hope this helps and as always, safe travels, friends!
Davey & Omie
